COLD IS A RELATIVE THING………BRRRRRRR!!!

65 ABOVE ZERO:

Floridians turn on the heat.

People in Minnesota plant gardens.

60 ABOVE ZERO:

Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in Minnesota sunbathe.

50 ABOVE ZERO:

Italian & English cars won’t start.

People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.

40 ABOVE ZERO:

Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.

People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

35 ABOVE ZERO:

New York landlords finally turn up the heat.

People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 ABOVE ZERO:

People in Miami all die.

Minnesotans close the windows.

ZERO:

Californians fly away to Mexico.

People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.

10 BELOW ZERO:

Hollywood disintegrates.

The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

20 BELOW ZERO:

Washington DC runs out of hot air.

People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 BELOW ZERO:

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

Minnesotans get upset because they can’t start the snow-mobile.

40 BELOW ZERO:

ALL atomic motion stops.

People in Minnesota start saying…”Cold enough fer ya?”

50 BELOW ZERO:

Hell freezes over.

Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.

Its HEEERRRRRRRRRREEEEEE!

According to Webster's Dictionary.....

Spring -noun
1: a time or season of growth or development ; specifically : the season between winter and summer comprising in the northern hemisphere usually the months of March, April, and May or as reckoned astronomically extending from the March equinox to the June solstice

Technically spring starts on Friday. Because that's the March equinox ....but an astronomist I am not. In my brain SPRING IS HERE! I'm contemplating writing Webster and suggesting they add another definition.

2: the period of warm weather following the winter, relatively based on a that years cold spells, temperatures vary from above 40 to 70, in MN this can be recognized by: high schoolers in mini skirts; garages being cleaned; more then one grill in use per neighborhood at a time; shedding of the extra layer of warmth (aka hair) on 's legs through shaving or wax removal; children and dogs covered in mud and often shivering from the wet, not technically warm, melting snow; Christmas lights finally coming off of houses; exposed garbage from the past four months laying in the streets; Window's being opened allowing for escapes of cats and children if the screens have not been put in yet; deck furniture appearing; the sound of bouncing basketballs, squeaky bicycles and children celebrating can be heard throughout town; lines at the car wash over an hour long where everyone must remove the seasons salt from their unrecognizable cars to find that they are not really white, but actually a very vibrant red; the population of the town seems to multiply by 100 as everyone and their brother are out rollerblading, walking dogs, jogging and just breathing the GLORIOUS fresh air!!!!!!!!!

I broke out the flip flops. I shaved the legs. (Yes, this was a two person job) I dug out my capri's. I put one loan cushion on one lone deck chair (I'm a realist, its March, there will be more snow). I thawed grill meats galore. I am HAPPY.

Football season brings life lessons

We watched the season opener last night with my mother.

We all had a good laugh over the lessons we teach our children when watching football, especially the Vikings.

Important things we are teaching Izze:

Loyalty--- no matter WHAT game your watching, if daddy yell's touchdown, sound off the VIKINGS HORN!

Unconditional love ---even when your team SUCKS, you love them

Disappointment happens---again and again and again

Swearing is not appropriate---unless used towards a blind referee over a horrible freaken call, or a coach who goes for two points instead of one thus losing $50 in the family pocket

NEVER say "go packers"---if your parents over hear something that sounds like that, tell them you were asking for CRACKERS.

Noisy and distracting toys WILL get you banished to the basement

The best way to earn daddy's approval is to INSIST on wearing your Vikings gear when you wake up in the morning