Blur

Its a amazing how fast the days can go. I don't know how in the world I have a daughter that is almost 2 years old. I have no idea how it seems like yesterday I was planning a cruise, but now its so far past that trip that there are not even tan lines left to reminise about.

I walk through the halls of the high school and remember the feeling of being that age, and how I thought my fight with my boyfriend was the end of the world. I dont FEEL much different though I know I am. I havent looked in the mirror and noticed how different I look. But when I see them in the -45 degree windchills with thier flip flops on and mini skirts, and the faces of 12 year olds, I realize they are not 12, they are 18. 18 year olds did not start looking younger, but I have started to look older.

I hear of someone calling in "drunk" to a job, and wonder did I EVER think it was okay to do that. I know that an 8am class in college was something that about killed me and I rarely made it to. I know that working in the group home I'd often sweet talk a freind into covering my shift so I could go down town. I thought life was so difficult.

I pass through these stages of my life: highschool, college, marriage, babies; and I dont feel as though they were that long ago. And then I realize, it was not yesterday that I visited River Falls for the first time with Katie to visit her sister and saw a movie for 1.50. That happend 12 years ago. It was not yesterday that I got in a pushing match with Jaime on the basketball court while cheering over who was right and who was wrong, that was 9 years ago! Or my first apartment and getting independence only to want to crawl back home and hide forever when watching the twin towers go up in flames. Or moving in with Kevin and learning how to budget for two instead of one. Or finishing college and planning a wedding and student teaching and working and hardly having time to breath. Or seeing the positive on the pregnancy test. Or going to the hospital and coming home with a CHILD.

How is it that one moment, the hardest or the best, can all of a sudden feel like an eternity but t our entire lives seem to go by in the blink of an eye.